I’m Not Good at Blind Obedience

I’m not good at blind obedience
Or turning a blind eye
Or a deaf ear.

I’m no good at saying yes when my truth is no
Or allowing a lie to go unchallenged.

If you could put a cardboard cutout of myself in a chair,
If a pasted smile of approval is what you are seeking,
I’m not your gal.

I’m the one you can count on to rock the boat,
Not for the perverse pleasure of making waves,
But to topple jury-rigged “rules” of engagement.

Who said? I will ask.
Who said it had to be that one way, that way you say it must be and no other way?

Jesus was the real deal,
But his followers looked at his iconoclastic, Spirit freeing,
Dogma-shattering presence
And tried to fit his enormous love
Into a book you could put in a box and carry around in your purse.

His truth was dogmatized into blind obedience
By the many who are too frighten to find out
just how radical a proposition
“Love your neighbor as yourself” truly is.

They really socked it to Jesus
Because the truth will set us free,
But first it might hurt a bit
As those shackles splinter
and the broken pieces of our illusions nick us as they fall away.

This is not a journey for wimps.
Pull back the curtain every day?

Let go of who we think we are for who we could become every day?
Speak up every day,
Even if we are accused of being trouble makers
Even if we are seen as contentious.
Oh, I so do not like who you think I am,
But I can only hold fast to who I am willing to become
Every day.

I am not good at blind obedience
Except to the deeper truth in me
That wants to be discovered,
And, yes,
Loved as well.

Loved or not,
Here I come.
Understood or not,
Here I am.
Like me or not,
Here I go!

Vicki Hannah Lein
May 2014