It Does Work if You Do it!

A while ago I wrote that it doesn’t work if you don’t do it. One of my students sent me this letter soon after that post, confirming that it does work, and it works quite profoundly and quickly, if you DO it, whatever the”it” is for you.

I teach a Human Potential class every term for our local community college. To get an A, my students needed to move wire free-writing) or tap (EFT, Emotional Freedom Techniques,) and read something inspirational.
I did not tell them they needed to spend a certain amount of time each day. I wanted them to build a habit of doing these three healthy activities and also to practice  keeping a promise  to themselves.

Here is the relevant part of her note to me, shared with her permission:

Hi Vicki, In the two weeks that I had to try tapping, reading, and moving the body, I found out a lot of things that I did not necessarily know about myself. First of all, I have become a lover of reading. I have never enjoyed reading until recently, I started reading a book called “Don’t stress about the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff” this was an incredible book. It was laid out in a fashion where I could read one section a day, and I began to really love reading. It was interesting reading information that helps motivate me in my daily life. During this two weeks I also did the free writes in the morning, I did not throw them away, however I read back through all of them yesterday and realized that many of the things that get to me in my everyday life are not worth the stress. As the free writings went from day to day, I could tell that I was becoming more joyful and things in my life were more in tacked. From day one to the last day of free writings my life had done a 180. I wake up with a smile on my face and look forward to the day, as two weeks ago I dreaded getting up and dealing with what life was throwing at me.Along with reading and writing I began to move my body. I started attending the gym. I love being active, it is a great source to relieve stress. Being able to go into the gym and take my mind off of all the other things in my life is a great escape.I believe that the combination of writing, reading and moving my body has created a new person in me, life is truly great right now. I tried the tapping, however I just could not get into it. I found myself being very distracted. This two weeks has been life changing for me, thank you for the awesome class!Have a great summer,
Excerpt from Vicki’s blog: The Dream Midwife

Why Can’t You Put Your Dishes in the Dishwasher?

If you are of a particular personality type, as I am, it makes no sense to you that someone would not put their dishes in the dishwasher as they dirty them. This is efficient. This habit keeps the kitchen clean at all times. Why can’t everyone, by everyone I mean my husband Murray, put his dishes in the dishwasher as he dirties them.

As you might guess we had many conversations about this. Murray, unusual for him, got quite testy when I asked him, sweetly and patiently, to please put his dishes in the dishwasher as he got them dirty.

I was being reasonable. He was being unreasonable. I was right. He was wrong.

This is a familiar scenario to many, but Murray and I have learned over the years that this story will not end well. I will be resentful about cleaning up his mess. He will be rebellious at being micromanaged by me. We will both be right and we will both be a little miserable and disconnected. If you get enough of these hairballs in your relationship, you are in big trouble.

Sometimes Murray gets clear first; sometimes I do. This time, I was the hero.

Let me give some context for this little battle: Murray is amazingly productive around the house. He takes out the garbage most of the time, does the recycling, takes care of the car maintenance, and does virtually all of the yard work that we don’t hire out. He is neat and tidy and clean (his office is always more orderly than mine) which is one reason it made no sense to me that he wouldn’t just put his dishes in the dishwasher.

Our Brilliant Solution

I decided I would forever put Murray’s dishes in the dishwasher as a gift of appreciation to him. Instead of muttering to myself when I cleaned up after him, I would send loving, thoughts of gratitude that I am lucky enough to be married to such a peach.

I told him what I was committing to. “Murray, I am not going to nag you about the dishes anymore. You do plenty around here, and I am going to clean up after you from now on and I will do it with love and appreciation every time. So let the dishes lie!”

As you might guess, Murray loved this solution. He does put some of his dishes in the dishwasher and he even empties the dishwasher every now and then because he does not want it to feel like a burden to me. I clean up the kitchen joyfully, often to music, and when the counter sparkles, so does our relationship.

This may seem like a small thing, but it has taken years of therapy and practice to get us to the point where both of us can appreciate the beauty of this solution.

Excerpt from


Welcome to my new website!

Thought for the Day:  Let it be here now.  This mantra combines letting go, being present, and speaking into creation the desires of your heart.  How blissfully efficient!

When I say this mantra, my clutching fists relax, my heart opens, and I smile at the folly that I can and need to control everything.  Bless us all in our very human folly!

Remember to follow your bliss, or it will stalk you!